Is it OK to ask guests to bring expensive wine to a party?

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Dear Dr. Vinny,

A colleague invited us to their home for a barbecue, and they asked us to bring a specific bottle of wine—one that cost more than $100. I thought this was rude and out of line! What do you think?

—Debbie, U.S.

Dear Debbie,

You're not wrong: This sounds rude, and also bizarre. I would never ask anyone to bring a specific wine, let alone something with that price tag. It's even stranger to request such an expensive bottle of wine for a barbecue!

Here’s what I’d do: I’d take their suggestion as a starting point. I’d pick wines I’m comfortable with, or have a connection with or a story about that are in the same vein. I’d show up all smiles and tell them that they have great taste in wine, and they inspired you to pick out the wines you’ve brought. Splurging and giving them what they requested sets a costly precedent.

—Dr. Vinny

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