drinking out loud

The Dirty Little Secret

Never mind the pairing. Who are you going to serve it to?
Matt Kramer
Posted: December 21, 2010

"When's your next web column coming out?" asked my wife. "December 21," I replied. "Oh good," she said, "you can write a holiday piece."

That suggestion brought forth a snarl of contempt. Used to such responses from me when the subject of the holidays is broached, she quickly moved out of earshot, leaving me to fume. “Holiday piece," indeed.

Don't get me wrong. I really don't mind the holidays, although the enforced cheer can get a little grating. What irks me about the holidays is all the entertaining. Truth to tell, we do less of it all the time. But because of what I do for a living there's an expectation on the part of our guests that they're going to be served some pretty swell wines. "After all," they say to themselves, "he's got a pretty good–size cellar, and who better to serve it to than us?"

Which brings me to my dirty little secret. As I mentioned in my previous column ("Free at Last! Free at Last!"), I really am unconcerned about pairing just-the-right wine with just-the-right dish. But now I feel obliged to reveal the dark side: I care a great deal about who gets served a certain wine.

I realize that this makes Matt less than a generous, all-embracing soul. And in my defense, it's got nothing to do with money. Instead, it's got to do with my conviction that there's no sense squandering a great wine—or even a carefully cellared minor jewel—on somebody who could care less about what's put in front of them. Never mind congenial food. The real art of "pairing" lies in the right wines for the right guests.

Nobody likes to mention this sort of thing because it makes you seem snobbish or even churlish. Yet I know I'm not alone in these dark, semi-unsociable feelings. A.J. Liebling memorably recorded in his masterpiece Between Meals the observation by a French bon vivant that, "Last week I had to offer my publisher a bottle that was far too good for him, simply because there was nothing between the insulting and the superlative."

Now along comes the holiday season, and everyone is expansive with good feelings and, I might note, your cellar. "Bring out the good stuff!" they chortle. Here's my advice: Don't do it. If you're like me, you've carefully sequestered all sorts of wines bought lovingly over the years, never mind how cheap or expensive they were. And now, all of a sudden, you're supposed to open these jewels because a few eggnog-besotted friends drop by urging you on to holiday cheer?

"The more you drink fine wine, the more awestruck you become about the uniqueness of [it]. You want to share that expression with like-minded guests."

No one likes to talk about the pairing of wine and people, but really, this is the most important—and delicate—dance of all. Take my beloved Marquis d'Angerville Volnay Clos des Ducs. I own more of this great red Burgundy than any other single wine. And I don't mind saying that I'm not going to haul it out for just anyone. You have to have like-minded guests who have at least an inkling about what they're drinking.

A passage in the thriller The Eiger Sanction captures this perfectly. The protagonist orders a bottle of Château Lafite Rothschild. His guest, Jemima, asks, "Is this Lafite something special?" With that, the host summons the wine steward and changes his order.

“Why did you do that," Jemima asked.

"Thrift, Miss Brown. Lafite is too expensive to waste.”

"How do you know, I might have enjoyed it."

"Oh, you'd have enjoyed it all right. But you wouldn't have appreciated it."

Jemima looked at him narrowly. "You know? I have this feeling you're not a nice person."

All right, fair enough. I can live with such an accusation. But I don't mind saying that this business of pairing the right "who" with the right wine goes on all the time. No one talks about it, of course, for obvious reasons. But most of the real wine lovers I know are not so much calculating as careful in deciding which wines they're going to offer to which guests.

The reason for this care is reverence. The more you drink wine, especially fine wine, the more awestruck you become about the uniqueness of one or another wine expression. You want to share that expression with like-minded guests, people who might not necessarily know all that much about the wine in front of them, but who share a similar awareness of how truly rare—in the best sense of that word—the world's most expressive wines really are.

Price has nothing to do with this. Recently, I brought some wines to a restaurant to serve to a very close friend who simply doesn't care about white wines. As far as he's concerned, they're just something that gets in the way of reaching the reds. So I didn't pull out my bottle of Muscadet Sèvre et Maine Grande Garde 1996 from Boullaut et Fils. It’s one of the finest Muscadets I've ever drunk. Why waste it?

So this holiday season, allow me to offer a little well-meant advice: Lock your cellar. Don't get caught up in the spurious good cheer of the holiday season in which everybody tells you what a good pal you are and by the way, is there any more of that Clos des Ducs lying around? Be resolute. Save your treasured wines for, well, ... yourself.

And to all, a good night.

Member comments   44 comment(s)

Troy Peterson — Burbank, CA —  December 21, 2010 1:55pm ET

Hooray for you Matt! I share your conviction in this matter and I'm sure there are more of us lurking on this site. The place where I really struggle with this is when we're having a fantastic meal and I really want to dignify it with the right wine. If some of our wine-challenged friends are present I just make sure the best bottle stays closest to me (and I take a nice big slug of it to start, just in case!). I find great joy in sharing fine wine with the right folks, and it's not about price. On the other hand, I experience great grief as I watch a neophyte quaff down fine wine, holding the glass by the bowl as they inevitably do.


Marc Robillard — Montreal,Canada —  December 21, 2010 2:33pm ET

Peace on earth and peace of wine!


Harvey Steiman — San Francisco, CA —  December 21, 2010 2:38pm ET

Lest anyone get the wrong idea, I think my friend Matt, who has opened some fine bottles for me since we first met too many years ago, is making a distinction between really great wines and the merely good. There is no crap in his cellar, and I am sure he would never serve anything to his guests he would not drink happily.

On the other hand, I believe strongly that the only way we ever got to the point where we appreciate greatness in wine is because somebody poured something revelatory for us. I like to think I have opened a few palates by occasionally pouring special wines for neophytes. Pick your spots. You could pass it forward.


Christopher Daccordo — Neponsit, NY —  December 21, 2010 2:57pm ET

I could not agree with you more. I often use this practice to choose which wines I will serve at large gatherings. I have been called a wine snob,or worse. I feel that most people would do the same if they saw guests adding lemon-lime soda to a glass of a stellar wine.


Steve Order — Massachusetts —  December 21, 2010 2:58pm ET

Matt I totally agree. My wife has a group of girl friends over every Thursday and we always make sure we keep a bunch of good, but inexpensive, wines around for them. They don't appreciate good wine. I opened a nice Nicholson Ranch Pinot Noir one Thanksgiving only to have my sister in-law pour a huge glass, add ice cubes and then, after three sips, spill it down the drain because she didn't like it! One other point; there is plenty of good inexpensive wines these days to share and enjoy with everyone. Happy Holidays.


Chris A Elerick — Orlando, FL —  December 21, 2010 3:19pm ET

in my small circle of friends, i am probably the most knowledgeable about wine, which isn't really saying much. i have friends who love wine without loving to know much about wine, friends who like wine and are interested to learn more about it, and friends who are indifferent. i would serve a great wine to the first two categories, but would only serve a passable wine to the last category.

to harvey: did you have an interest in wine or other epicurean endeavors when a benefactor poured a gem for you? my guess is yes. in that case, the person saw in you some oenophilic potential and tried to light that fire. it obviously worked!


Matthew Slywka — Seymour, CT —  December 21, 2010 3:35pm ET

Great blog Matt! I have to admit I have been referred to as a snob or wine nazi on more than one occasion. But I do have to disagree with you on one point, at least in my case. It is about price. I am by no means a rich man. I work hard for my money and if I spend $50-$100 on a bottle of wine, I want to drink it or at least have it with other people who appreciate it. I too have many ice cube stories! Perhaps if I was more well off I wouldn't care as much but I'm not. On the other hand, although I won't break out my best stuff for just anyone, I do take it upon myself to find something nice more moderately priced. The Stump Jump wines, Dr. L, Monte Antico have all been opened and enjoyed recently. These are things that people have liked and don't break the bank. I have actually had a few friends rise to the challenge and gotten more interested in wine, bringing some nice bottles themselves. Having a friend become more interested in wine makes me very happy and it didn't cost me my best bottles to do it.


Marc Dubrow — southampton, n.y. usa —  December 21, 2010 4:50pm ET

enough said about this subject... but I could not agree with you more!! We (those of us who collect/consume) have had at least one of these situations where "bring out the good stuff" is said. I think pairing wine with people is more important than trying to match with food.


Vincent Pellegrino — Smithfield,RI —  December 21, 2010 5:01pm ET

Great holiday subject. I also had to learn the hard way. To often I would open a good bottle hopeing the person would enjoy it only to see them fill the glass with ice or even worse fill thier glass to the brim. I must amit I have learned lesson I only serve what will be appreciated by my guess. Never bad wine, but the great ones must be shared with the people that know what they are drinking.


Juan Gonzalez — Miami, FL —  December 21, 2010 5:53pm ET

YES, someone who shares my thoughts. I learned this lesson the hard way. Some years ago my wife hosted a wine tasting for some of her co-workers. Among the wines I opened was a Montrachet and a Ch. Latour. Imagine my shock when one of our guests mixed the two and proclaimed "I made white zinfandel, now this tastes good." Needless to say, that was the last time they were invited to a wine tasting at my house.


Joe Dekeyser — Waukesha, WI —  December 21, 2010 6:11pm ET

I love great examples of the Rhone varietals (red and white) whether they come from the Rhone, California, Washington or Australia. I do treasure them and I completely agree with your position. I love sharing a terrific wine with friends who take the time to at least consider its merits. At the same time there is almost nothing more disappointing than seeing the person you've trusted to share that treasure take the glass empty it in a gulp or two and then hold out the empty glass for a refill. I reserve plenty of quaffable wines for tipping back.


Bruce Dunlop — Ottawa/Canada —  December 21, 2010 8:53pm ET

Juan,
You opened a Montrachet and a Latour for your wife's co-workers? I think that goes beyond what even Matt is suggesting. That's just insane. Unless I'm one of her co-workers...


Jerry Rosenblatt — Montreal, Canada —  December 21, 2010 10:46pm ET

Amazing Blog! I thought i was a jerk because I've had hese feelings that you are all posting for a long time. I try not to keep too many wines in my cellar that I wouldn't want to drink - in fact None! So the other day when I was put into a situation where I asked to give one of my favorite wines (Carnival of Love - Mollydooker) to an acquaintance for Christmas, I was mortified. This wine is impossible to find in Montreal and every bottle is cherished. But how do I not come off seeming to be a massive "selfish snob" when the wine is offered up. I caved and gave the wine - I do not feel great about the decision. Aren't we supposed to be happy when we give gifts for the Holidays? Oh well, I guess instead of writing this note, I should be surfing the net looking for more Carnivals!!


James R Biddle — Dayton, OH —  December 21, 2010 11:39pm ET

I offer no mea culpa for cellar pairings for guests! My twisted logic concludes that giving guests what they like is a gift of thoughtfulness! Having had guests who were uncomfortable with "good" wine (they knew they should "appreciate" it, but were at a palate-loss to do so), I prefer to make them comfortable. That's a pairing were all parties win.


Dave Devine — Leverkusen, Germany —  December 22, 2010 3:51am ET

My girlfriend takes it to the other extreme, buying wine she would not normally drink to serve to her clique at their social gatherings. While I would not serve our modest interpretation of high-end wine to them, I wouldn't have any problem with pouring the moderately priced wines we drink in everyday situations when its just the two of us.


Austrich Wine Club — Singapore —  December 22, 2010 10:49am ET

We have the same issue :)

What to pop for the holidays .. the right bottle for the right occassion with the right people!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!


David Blakeley — New Jersey —  December 22, 2010 11:27am ET

Hear hear! Some "wine friends" and I do exactly the same thing. I admit I'm having a hard time recalling the scene in The Eiger Sanction however. The book or the move? Hard to picture Clint Eastwood talking about Lafite.

Happy Holidays!


Mike Olszewski — Newcastle, WA, USA —  December 22, 2010 2:14pm ET

Great article Matt. Ever the provocateur! Over the years I have migrated from being 100% in accord with your position to maybe around 50% now. Like you and other posters, there have been innumerable sad instances of table mates not having a clue or the slightest interest in what they are drinking, guzzling a fine wine like they are at a Frat party, sneaking into the kitchen to pour the wine down the drain, adulterating with ice/mixers, et al.

However, as the cellar has become overloaded with trophy wines awaiting just the right circumstances to drink, I have found opening these wines as an education tool for anyone who shows the merest interest in knowing more about wine to be very rewarding. One example is my 20-something niece, who has developed a taste for Malbec. It has been fun expanding her horizons beyond the inexpensive glass pours, that she had been trying in restaurants, to finer bottles from Argentina, Cahors and Washington State (IMHO the next great WA red). By the way, one of her Christmas presents this year is a bottle of the 2008 Colome Malbec, that you presented at this year’s NWWE—a truly great wine with a fantastic story.


Steve Trachsel — Poway, Ca. —  December 22, 2010 3:28pm ET

As a self admitted snob I couldn't agree more with you Matt. After watching friends girlfriends add ice to 86 Mouton, teammates doing "shots" of Sassicaia on the back of the team plane, mom asking for Marilyn Merlot cuz Massetto doesn't taste good and dad telling me "They all just taste the same" I now open wine more for who's drinking compared to what's being served for dinner.

The great "A ha!" moments still happen for some, and when they do it's a great thing, they just happen less than the other situations.

So here's to drinking the "good stuff"...while I sneek in the back room and poor myself a glass of the "great stuff"

Happy Holidays!


Nick Altiero — Philadelphia,PA —  December 22, 2010 3:39pm ET

Matt,

Great article and very timely topic. You should write a book. At the Holidays, I usually like to pour something nice, not to impress my guests necessarly, but because I want to sample some of the fruits of my wine-collecting labor with family and friends- that is what we collect wine for, isn't it?

I use the work 'pour' here specifically, because I pour everyone's glass ( to the appropriate level based on their interest in wine) while telliing the story about the wine- where it comes from, vintage year, why I liked/selected it and what the Wine Spectator experts thought of the wine ( though less of that lately since I would be saying "Vintage of the Century" every year with every wine). I find that the set up of the wine is as enjoyable to guests as the wine itself. But that's just me.

Keep the amusing and insighful blogs coming, this one was great.

Nick


The Odom Corporation — oregon —  December 22, 2010 3:48pm ET

Haha (Insert you relative who just wants some alcohol) then put out some nice aged; Barolo, Chianti Classico Reserva, and Classified Growth Bordeaux. Watch them fill the 18 ounce Riedel to the brim and guzzle it and come back for more in 5 minutes. This scenario happened to me a couple of holiday seasons ago. Matt you once again nailed it on the head!!


Robert Feathers — Boston, MA —  December 22, 2010 4:19pm ET

Matt, you are not alone. I am in total agreement. I carefully choose wines based on the level of wine appreciation of the guests. I am certainly not opening a 1989 Leoville Poyferre, Domaine Louis Latour 1996 Chateau Corton Grancey Grand Cru or E. Guigal 1995 Chateau d'Ampuis Cote Rotie for anybody.

I made the mistake of bringing some "good" wine from the cellar to my families for Thanksgiving this year. What a waste of good wine.

Thanks for putting these thoughts in print.

Cheers, Bob


Clinton W Mitchell — Naperville, IL —  December 22, 2010 5:48pm ET

Hey Trachs,
Next time you're in Chicago, swing by Naperville with the good stuff. I'll appreciate it.
And speed up your delivery!
Signed,
Life-long Cubs fan

Seriously, though, in agreement with most. You have to get a good read on a person to know whether they'll appreciate it, and if they're eager to learn about wine.
And it's not just money -- a Silver Oak drinker probably won't appreciate a 15-year-old Cote Rotie, so serve them a young, replaceable Napa Cab, and you're both happy.


Lallo — Montreal Canada —  December 22, 2010 7:25pm ET

Great article. It's Very Nice to finally read what i've been secretely (no always secretly) thinking. Let's Keep the cellar locked for the holidays!


Dan Dixon — Ottawa —  December 22, 2010 8:10pm ET

I've always enjoyed Wine Spectator, especially topical articles about enjoying wine.

However, this article is one of the worst pieces I have ever seen and it makes me question my membership.

Basing an article on the worthiness of friends' ability to enjoy or appreciate your wine is pretty sad. Either you choose to share your wine with your friends or you don't - it shouldn't be conditional.

Matt, I'm sure that every "friend" that comes to your home after reading this article will be trying to figure out whether or not you are looking down your nose at them.

Please write about wine, not why you are better than other people.


Tom Miller — Vestavia Hills, AL —  December 22, 2010 8:43pm ET

Matt,

Please thank your wife for suggesting that you write a "holiday piece"...her timing was perfect. As we move into the holidays and celebrations with our friends and families, the subject of who to serve the wines to is even more important. Being the family wineaux, it has always been incumbent upon me to bring the wines to all important family occasions.

When my Dad was with us, I would always bring a bottle or three of Silver Oak because it was his favorite Cabernet. One of the greatest pleasures in my life was to watch the smile appear on his face as he savored his first sip. And, contrary to the statement of a previous poster, he'd drink a 15-year old Guigal Cote Rotie and enjoy it just as much...but he still liked Silver Oak.

Since Dad turned me on to Sancerre blanc in 1973 at the Caribbean Room of the Ponchartrain Hotel in New Orleans (a memorable pairing with their Trout Veronique), this year we'll be drinking an Edmond Vatan Sancerre in his honor. It was his favorite white wine. And though he's in a better place now, my Mom and my three brothers and our families will all know that he's there enjoying it with us.

I hope you and your family have a very merry and blessed Christmas.


Charles Chico Jr — Atlanta —  December 22, 2010 9:27pm ET

Matt speaks the truth. This concept is in no way snobbish. It’s just a fact that some of my friends and family are not the “wine geek” that I am. They simply do not care what they are drinking. This concept is not exclusive to wine.


Kris Steed — Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada —  December 22, 2010 10:54pm ET

Hi Matt,

Great article however I think you missed the true issue. Generally speaking, its not the people you serve it too, but the situation that the wine is served in that is appropriate.

Sharing good and often excellent wines in a appropriate setting allows us to share the stories that are affiliated with that bottle and educates those who may not be as knowledgeable with wine. It begins to make those that we enjoy the company of 'in on the secret' of why this / these wine(s) are so special, and might even spark an interest for them to take on the same passion. Tell them a little about the winery, the region, and maybe a little about the wine making that makes it so special. They will begin to feel more comfortable with and learning about wine, something that nobody has spoken with them with in the past. Its made for some great dinner conversation and we've had a blast with it.

Create and present a situation that respects the wine you're about to serve. Leaving a bottle from your favorite Chateau on the kitchen table with 50 of your family over probably will lead to Aunt Mabel pouring it on the rocks. If your house is full and you want to crack a good bottle, pull a few friends aside to your 'cellar' or an area where its a little quieter and let them on in on the story. Its a controlled environment where you can educate in an informal situation how good this wine is. Yes, do include those that might not have a clue on the difference between red and white wine as this will help them become future fans. No need to make it a formal affair or share every single detail about wine, just a couple of great points that they can share and / or remember. Remember, its about the romance and passion of the wine.

At the end of the day, you are sharing some of your best bottles with the people you may love and respect the most. Isn't that what wine is for anyways?


James R Biddle — Dayton, OH —  December 23, 2010 12:09am ET

Hmmmmmm. Some curious reactions. If I throw a formal dinner party, some of my friends love having 6+ pieces of silverware at their plate--they feel honored. Others have the opposite reaction--they feel intimidated. In neither case should it be about me as host--I hope it would be about everyone feeling comfortable and enjoying themselves. Since "good" wine is as intimidating as masses of silverware to some folk, why serve them something that makes them uncomfortable???? Now that's disrepectful.


Jeremy Matouk — Port of Spain, Trinidad —  December 23, 2010 7:40am ET

I am not surprised at the volume of response this article has generated, especially from those who have collected wines they consider special. And no, there is no snobbery in Matt's thinking. I am reminded of two oft used sayings: "Horses for courses" and - wait for it - "Do not cast your pearls before swine". Despite the fact that some will take offence at the latter, there is wisdom to it.
It's no different to mismatching wine with food. Which one of us would open a great, complex wine to pair with pizza?
Merry Christmas to all. May you all enjoy your friends and your wines to the fullest.


Mosen Defrawy Md — Orange County, CA —  December 24, 2010 1:31am ET

Wholeheartedly agree! Too many of my friends would be very happy to enjoy a good quaffing, nice tasting wine.

True appreciation exists on another level. As my friend Michel (Vinotas) would say, "Tasting is a way of life"! So here's to tasting your way thru the holidays with good wines,!!! :-D


Malcolm Rose — Ottawa —  December 24, 2010 3:47pm ET

Bravo Matt ! Enjoyment and appreciation do differ. No point in serving fine wines that some guests will not remember after the main course is served. Better to share a great wine with those on whom it will leave an impression. Cheers to all and happy holidays!


Ryan Schmied — Miami, FL. USA —  December 25, 2010 11:43am ET

Dan Dixon, you don't get it.


Dennis Mangino — Brighon, MI —  December 26, 2010 11:40am ET

Dear Ryan,

To imply that Dan Dixon doesn't get it, is to imply that you do. Though I respect your right to voice your opinion and I enjoyed reading all the comments (including yours) mainly for their entertainment value, I must say that, for the most part, I agree with Dan.

To me, wine is about art, fantasy, fun, personal tastes and style. These are the things shared with friends; not to be used in judging them. You cause me to reflect on the fable of the Emperor and his new suit of clothes. The haberdasher was compelling by convincing almost everyone that they were smart by claiming they "got it."

By the way, to those who claim it is not about cost or price, I ask, then why even mention it?

All the best for a wonderful 2011.

Dennis


James R Biddle — Dayton, OH —  December 27, 2010 11:00am ET

Dear Dennis,

Not to split the hairs, but... You say "To me, wine is about art, fantasy, fun, personal tastes and style. These are the things shared with friends;" (I agree)"not to be used in judging them" (which doesn't necessarily follow from your first part). Trying to be honest with myself (always iffy), I try to serve wines that fit with what I know of my guests' "personal taste and style" without "judging them;" I just want them to enjoy themselves. I only pull wines from my cellar, but I have clearly divisions from everyday through splurge. Only a tiny percent of guests get the "splurge" wines.


Sandy Fitzgerald — Centennial, CO —  December 29, 2010 5:09pm ET

Matt;

Actually, as a host, I have learned to go one step farther. My statement goes like this: Tonite we are having a very nice XYC wine to compliment this course/meal, would you like wine, or prefer for me to refill your drink?" I have stopped trying to force wine, even very good wine, off on my guests. One might be surprised at the number of people that say "I'd love to have another martini, or margarita,( or whatever) please, I don't really like wine." I figure they're my guest and give them what they want, instead of me pouring even modestly priced wine down the drain.


Don Rauba — Schaumburg, IL —  December 29, 2010 7:00pm ET

I like the points Kris Steed makes, because I've had those kinds of experiences. But as part of this honest "look in the mirror", I'll say that in terms of sheer numbers, I know FAR more "Miles the Misers" (Sideways) than shareful folks. Many I know horde (and boast) and never really share from the good stuff, even to the point of being embarrassed in groups who assemble with the express intent of doing so! There's a fine line to walk between choosing your "audience" carefully and smartly versus solitary drinking (things like Cheval Blanc out of the proverbial paper sack). I'm not accusing Matt of that, but are we all sharing enough? In not sharing, are we underestimating everyone around us? I think so, so I prefer to err on the side of sharing more. That one person who raves about the unexpected surprise will make it worth your gamble with their gratitude and repeated recollections of your generosity.


Louis Robichaux — Highland Village, Texas —  December 29, 2010 10:47pm ET

Matt -

I know I gave you a hard time in my letter published in the December Top 100 edition of WS, but you've redeemed youself in my eyes via this blog! I cannot agree more. I love sharing my wine and keep a nice stock of very good, reasonably priced reds and whites for entertaining and my friends think I'm a genius. However, I can assure you that my small stock of 2006 Schrader T6 will only come out for me and only my most serious wine loving friends.

Dan Dixon and Dennis Mangino, respectfully I believe you are both missing the most salient point of the blog here. The point is that wine enthusiasts should be generous and gracious with their friends (thus not serve crap), but not expect they will share the same level of obsesison as you. I would expect my Scotch obsessed friends would save their Balvenie 21 year Portwood for someone other than me ... and I would not at all be offended.


Scott Rynkowski — Grafton, MA —  December 30, 2010 10:39am ET

Awesome thread, couldn't agree more. If someone won't appreciate the treasure you bring out, don't serve it. My wife has an ok on the wine as long as it's not in the OWC or in the bottom four shelves.

Love the comment from Steve Order, the ice in the wine, seen it too many times. Thought it was just a MA thing.

And it's nice to see "the human rain delay" on the thread. :) And to know that I'm not the only one who keeps the good bottle in the other room for friends.

Best to all!


Anthony Miles — Seattle, WA —  December 31, 2010 3:47am ET

I find myself agreeing with the minority of more liberal souls on this question of sharing special wines.

Large parties are always bad places for sharing great wine (absent many or very large bottles of the same wine) because they become circumstances of scarcity rather than largess. Likewise, untutored louts with poor palates and a sense of entitlement are always boorish. Frustration with either of the above is no excuse for losing sight of an essential component of hospitality.

As hosts, we undertake to provide a positive, even a memorable, experience for our guests and sharing a special bottle of wine can play a significant role in that effort. A guest who lacks the palate, knowledge or experience to appreciate the finer qualities of the wine itself may, nonetheless, appreciate the gesture of being included among those with whom you choose to share something you find special. If the taste experience also is harmonious, that individual may be spurred on to greater pursuit of wine knowledge and appreciation; but that's just icing on the cake. Even if your guests don't remember what you pour, chances are good they'll remember how you made them feel, and the creation of that conviviality is what I believe hospitality is all about.

Happy New Year!


Andrew Comito — Westbury, NY —  December 31, 2010 3:40pm ET

Matt hits the nail on the head; my friends and family have been practicing this for years. I also agree with Harvey Steinman; it certainly feels good to help expand the palate of someone who appreciates a better bottle. Who knows, some day they may return the favor and do the same for you.


Don Rauba — Schaumburg, IL —  December 31, 2010 5:07pm ET

An additional comment regarding how self-involved it is to deny others an opportunity to have their eyes opened to great wine. Too many people are too comfortable being "Me Generation" and don't think outside themselves. How sad it would be if no one ever again said "I remember my first taste of X, it was poured for me by my friend/colleague/sister/etc. and really opened my eyes to what great wine can be." Large parties are not what I'm talking about. I maintain that pouring tastes of a prized bottle for even casual wine folks might turn them into real enthusiasts. That's a good thing, because they'll likely share things they discover back with you. And the generosity (yes, you should talk it up) won't soon be forgotten, regardless of their reaction.

On the other hand, because of my own experiences, I actually doubt what many on this thread say about being willing to share great bottles at all. I might even challenge them to admit that this an all too convenient justification for miserliness. Don't think they wrote the Miles character in Sideways without having seen plenty of real-life Mileses all over the place.

Open it and pass it around!


James R Biddle — Dayton, OH —  January 1, 2011 9:36am ET

Anthony/Don,
You both make good points--but in a forum such as this, it is often difficult to treat the "yes, buts." I admit to being miserly with "untutored louts with poor palates and a sense of entitlement." My sense of hospitality (especially at a larger party) leads me to serve them what they already like. On the other hand, many of my smaller parties include "casual wine folk" who I love to push--and maybe delight. Most of these folk like Italian wines; since I have a a stock of '97 and '99 Brunelli, I love watching them taste good wines they've never had. Again, my view of hospitality revolves around guests having a good time without moving them too far from their comfort zone. So, my cellar is a means, not an end.


Bill Schassberger — Cambria, CA —  February 24, 2011 6:44pm ET

Matt,
Well...you certainly touched a nerve with "The Dirty Little Secret" didn't you. As you read through the responses though, you can see that most wine lovers totally understand what you are saying. Reminds me of a line from a movie....."You want the Truth?....You can't handle the Truth".


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