From your comments on yesterday’s blog, I am carrying on the genre in the spirit of all good and bad writers in Los Angeles. So this is how my day began.
I decided to forgo Starbucks this morning in LA and head down to a coffee shop on Beverly Boulevard called Swingers. It’s a down and dirty place for breaky, and I much prefer the tattooed women waitresses in biker boots than the baristas at Starbucks. The coffee there is solid American type in mugs and not the watery-fast-food sort at Starbucks. It’s like comparing a glass of Hermitage to Beaujolais Nouveau. The huevos rancheros are good too!
Anyway, I finished my breakfast after reading in the Los Angeles Times about the Democrat’s impressive wine (I mean win) in the elections – I have a one-track mind even though I wrote about politics before this gig – and, heading back to my hotel, I decided to contemplate another mega wine buy, the type that Jay-Z or Russell Crowe or even Paris Hilton might contemplate for the weekend to hang with their friends and enjoy a long one. I mean, these people are icons here in Los Angeles, my birthplace and the city I love. So what if they weren’t born here? That’s like most people in LA.
So I was wondering what they might like to drink. And obviously it has to be obscenely expensive. So I decided to Google a few things to see what I could come up with for them. How about “most expensive wine on earth?” That seems simple enough. I don’t get it. The first listing is “Forbes 10 most expensive homes.” Of course, these days the most expensive wine on earth could be very close in price to the most expensive house on earth, but Google is really letting me down here. Thank God I don’t have to pay for this.
Hmmm. How about “big buck red?” What? “Welcome to Cornell Dining.” THIS IS NOT WHAT I AM LOOKING FORRRR…. If Jay-Z was next to me now, I would be in deep…and by the way, Jay-Z and I are not dining together at Cornell University. HELLO.
May be I should try something a little more Russell Crowe: “Horrifically Expensive Australian Wine.” Nothing. Yes, nothing. I am starting to question why anyone in his or her right mind would buy stock in Google. What crap.
What about Paris? She likes to hang down at Koi, the flashy sushi venue full of beautiful and expensive blondes. Come on. She must only drink Champagne, like Pamela Anderson and Posh Beckham, similar women of great taste. Google this: “really expensive cham pain.” A story on industrial hygiene comes up on my screen.
Okay. I have had enough of this Google stuff. I am going straight to Zachy’s, the famous New York wine shop. And I am going to search for what should be super expensive, Domaine de la Romanee Conti. Just a week or two ago a case of 1990 DRC RC sold for $161,325. Zachy’s must be able to match that on-line. Come on. If not, I am going to call Zachy himself and ask him to raise his prices more.
Here goes….z.a.c.h.y.s.w.i.n.e. Ecco la! I am now typing Domaine de la Romanee Conti in the Find box.
There are only two entries: a case of 2002 Grands Echezeaux for $8,550 and a case of 2002 Romanee St. Vivant for $10,260. What a disappointment! I can’t spend so little and expect anyone serious in LA to take me seriously. What is a wine lover to do?
This has been another upsetting day in Los Angeles. I need to talk to my therapist. Or at least get some prescription drugs from my doctor to calm me down.